The same...yet different?

My goodness, it's been a month since my last post, surely I should be well on my way to freedom?  Nope, I'm just sitting in the backseat and watching it pass.  Is this really what I want to focus on right now?  Nah, lets go with some fun stuff!


Josh started Kindergarten last week.  His first week was less than stellar.  Time outs every single day.  I was starting to wonder if I was raising a future delinquent, and then yesterday came.  Not only did my son NOT get sent to timeout he actually got a star on his chart.  Not only did he get a star, he got a Golden Ticket.  What's that you ask?  It's something that students are given when they are caught doing something good.  My child...doing something good in school...I knew it :)  He has since come home with another star!  I told him if he got all 5 days we would go out for ice cream.  Bribery seems to be working wonders.  WONDERS I tell you!  I prefer to see it as encouragement and incentive.     


So, now to me.  I guess I've taken a few steps in the right direction.  I am facilitating Financial Peace University so the finances will hopefully be falling into place again soon.  I signed up for Weight Watchers again but I have yet to track anything.  Slowly, I'm pacing myself.  I do, however, have a sink with no dishes in it.  I can honestly say I'm not drowning in housework and that alone is satisfying.  Step by step I guess.  Gosh those steps sure are tiring. 


Ah that dreaded CPA exam.  It's on hold for the moment.  I figure I'm setting myself up for failure if I attempt this while also working 50+ hours a week.  That schedule won't last forever so I'll jump back on THAT wagon after I'm done pulling my hair out and crying like a baby.  This schedule can be brutal!


I hope to make progress but only time will tell.  Atleast I feel like I"m facing the right direction now!  

Starting today

I did it.  I actually had a cleaning service come in and clean my house.  It looks fantastic, however, I know I will never keep it up if I don't try.  I am now determined to do this and I firmly believe that your mind is quite powerful.  I figure if I can make up my mind do actually do the things that need to get done, they will!  Hey, I can try at least right?


So, today (well I guess tomorrow) I will be implementing the FlyLady methods.  Routines are going to be very important when Josh starts Kindergarten.  I feel we need to start them now to get them down.  Morning routines, after work/school, and evening routines are going to be quite instrumental in our success.  


Next thing on the list is finances!  Dave Ramsey should be helping us with this part.  I have a meeting Friday with Wanda from church to discuss starting Financial Peace University.  There are so many things that need to be paid off or saved for.  I don't even know where to start!  So, I guess it's back to the baby steps, which is always a good place to start.  


The final change will need to be health.  Fitness and diet are going to be a big part in this.  Weight watchers perhaps?  That plays in to the money part though.  


Oh I'm just so tired in the evenings.  How will I ever get all of this done?

How does one change?

Knowing that something needs to change, how does one go about making those changes?  I feel that so much needs to be corrected that it is overwhelming and I just don't know where to start.  Yeah, I realize baby steps but where to even set my foot?  I have a feeling that the FlyLady and Dave Ramsey are going to be instrumental in this change but is it too much to start at once?  

I'm in over my head.  I know this.  I also know that it is possible to juggle everything and still be relatively happy.  It's a matter of just getting off my lazy butt and doing all of these things!  I think this is going to be short, I should probably get off my rear like I'm talking about :)

Dealing with Failure

I have found out my score for my most recent attempt at the CPA exam.  I knew I was going to fail, but somehow I managed to let myself believe "maybe I'm wrong?"  I wasn't wrong.  I failed quite badly too, actually.  It.Sucks.

I now must contend with the fact that I am paying roughly $300 a pop to screw up.  Not exactly appetizing.  First off, we don't have the money right now for me to even be able to pay for the test.  Secondly, if we don't have the money in the first place why can't I just accept that I need to finish this and move on?  I hope to God the Ritalin will help with my focus and attention.  I need to pass these damn tests!

Wallowing in self pity won't help the situation but I'm doing that right now.  I guess sometimes you have to let yourself get really down so you can pick yourself back up?  Eh, works for me.  I have been thinking to myself lately that I am merely surviving this life.  I don't feel like I"m living.  I am doing the least amount of anything just to make it through the day.  I'm not happy with this, yet do I do anything to change it?  Nope, nada, no.  Guess I only can blame myself.

Through all of this, I have found that I do have some really amazing friends.  People that pick me up no matter what life throws at me.  They are worth their weight in gold, but more precious to me than that.  By the grace of God, and the love of friends and family, I make it through this life.  Some things I must do for myself though.

Gosh, I need goals to work towards.  I have them in my head, but I need them written down.  I need to follow them and not let anything knock me off track.  So many things I want to change about me.  So so many things.  Baby steps?  Yes please!

I guess I need to actually figure out what I want to change and how I need to go about making those changes. Along with working 10 hours a day, spending time with my children, spending time with my husband, keeping a clean house, studying for the CPA exam, and maintaining the goals I decide such as weight loss and financial freedom.  I don't, however, have much on my plate or anything.